Gwar

Biography

If you’ve made it to 2026 without hearing about Gwar in the last almost 40 years, I really don’t know what to say.

I first found out about them while reading an issue of High Times – I think it was in 1989 or 1990. And I’m pretty sure that it was the same issue that I found out about Bongwater in. Either way, the write up was amusing and even better were the pictures. I immediately hit the local record store and picked up a copy of Hell-O.

I’ve seen them many times over the years, often dragging unsuspecting souls to witness the spectacle. Everyone from newfound friends when I moved to a new state to my 9 year old godson who has now seen them 4 times in the last year and change.

My First Gwar Show

Zima was the beverage of Gwar… at least back in the early 1990’s.

By FAR my favorite show was my first time seeing them – upstairs at Pearl Street Night Club in Northampton MA in 1993-1994. (It looks like it must have been on June 6, 1994 show):

Opening band was who else but X-Cops. I don’t think it clicked for very many of us that the X-Cops were Gwar. The X-Cops set ended, the next band went on, and some of Gwar’s roadies (or maybe even members) were patrolling the audience and asked the girls I went (Lauren, Kathy and Val, if my memory is right) with if they would be slaves to be sacrificed to their monster at the end of the show. They agreed and we puzzled about what they’d signed up for.

Gwar came on and midway through their set, the same guy emerged through crowd, told them it was time and led them backstage.

A few songs later, the huge Gwar worm enters from stage right side and one by one, my friends were lead out on stage and fed to the beast, putting up a symbolic struggle and getting covered in Gwars trademarked fake blood before finally being consumed.

The show ended, the crowd cleared out, and the girls I went with were nowhere to be found. I went to the door leading backstage, but the guy on security wouldn’t let me through. I tried to explain my plight and he went to grab his manager. Out walked the head of security for the nightclub who happened to be a friend of mine, so he led me backstage to find my friends. And there they were, happily drinking with Gwar in the dressing room. Everyone form the band were more or less our of their costumes, but one or two of the guys who were only in the X-Cops were still in uniform. They offered me a drink which I eagerly took, only to look down at my and and see a bottle of Zima.

This was an earth-shattering revelation.

Gwar drank Zima back then.

Conversation with them went along and somewhere it was mentioned that we had to get going because it was a week night and my friends had to go to school the next day. Once we clarified our ages (i was either 18 or 19, they were all either 16 or 17), we said our goodbyes and made for the exit while the band probably panicked about having fed 16-year old girls Zima. Or maybe they didn’t care, who knows.

From there, we ventured to a house that a lot of our friends lived at on State Street in Northampton. By then it was one in the morning or so. We let ourselves in, gave a shout and someone came down to the living room to see us all covered in Gwar blood, drunk and recounting the nights events on the couch. We excitedly told them about our experience, had a couple more drinks and then realized we REALLY had to get back because, like I said, it was a week night and they had school the next day.

We hopped in my car and started driving back to Amherst. I was driving, they were passed out in the backseat. As I passed the Dunkin’ Donuts in Hadley, a cop popped out, flipped on its lights and pulled me over.

I sat there in a minor panic at my own situation, not realizing what the cop was in for. He walked up along the side of my car, peering in the windows with with his flashlight as he approached and found three girls, covered in blood in my backseat, not moving at all. Then he got to the drivers side window, and there I am, behind the wheel, also drenched in blood.

I started babbling. “Concert. X-Cops shooting. Blood. Fake Blood. Gwar. Monster. Slaves. Sacrifice” and so on. I also added that my friends had school tomorrow.He opened the back door, shook one of my friend awake, listened to her murmur something about Gwar and realized that there was some reality to what i’d just blurted out, weighed his options, and sent me on my way, cautioning me to drive slower. And so the next twenty or so minutes of the night wrapped up without further incident.

And that’s my memory of my first Gwar show.

I often wonder what that cop told his friends later. And if he still thinks about that night 30 years later.